Loki's Book
by McRai thePrinx
Summary: The book Loki sends to his brother and mother while in Fiore, refer to Home Is Where the Heart Heals for the full story. Book Complete.
1. Chapters 1-2

**I've decided to create a seperate entry without any of the dialogue and interruptions for the book Loki sends to his mother and brother. If you guys are confused, refer to Home Is Where the Heart Heals, my other Avengers/Fairy Tail fanfiction. I'll go by a few chapters worth of the book at a time depending on how much of the book there is.**

* * *

**Chapters 1-2**

_Dear Mother,_

_I do hope you received this package. If not, I have made an error in my calculations and there is no point in writing this. _

_I must request that you retrieve my brother and look through this book together, as it is very important that you both understand my situation. Do not worry, nothing is wrong. In fact, I believe that things have never been better for me and that is why I wish for you two to know. The book is spelled to only open when both of you and ONLY both of you are ready to look through it._

_There is nothing much else to say, except that I must ask you read through the whole book before considering telling Odin or anyone else of it._

_~Loki_

* * *

_Before I can truly begin to describe anything I must go back. Back many years before you were banished, brother. _

_Out of anyone I know that you both meant no harm. But as I grew up I was constantly taunted, teased about my studies in magic and my less than 'perfect' visage. I do not know for sure whether you have realized it by now, but I am confident that you now know how my childhood was not the best of situations. _

_Thor, you often protected me even when you believed I deserved what I was being put through. If you've realized what I grew up with you will be astounded to know that your protection was only enough to defend me when you were around. When you weren't, it was truly horrible._

_Considering the circumstances of your banishment, I believe that I was already becoming slightly unstable. I recall feeling unbelievably apart from anyone, and when I discovered my true heritage I broke._

_My actions weren't particularly called for, though I did what I believed was correct. Now I thoroughly regret all of it._

_I do not wish to dwell on the subject very long, as I do not like remembering my instability at the time._

_The moment when I let go and fell into the abyss is one of my lowest. At the time, I truly wished for it to just end._

_Now, I want to go back in time and slap myself. However, there are many important things that never would have happened had I not attempted it._

_I floated through the void for an eternity, with nothing. There were tales of beasts and monsters roaming through the void, so I had resigned myself to being destroyed in their grasp. But there was nothing, and in that nothing I truly went mad. _

_Eventually, when my madness had faded with time as everything did, I was finally found by something. _

_Thanos._

_I will not mention that time but for this once. Many, many terrible things were done to me there that I am still too damaged to attempt reliving by writing them. I know that I then knew what it was like to beg and wish for death, and it is possible I did die a few times while in his grasp._

_I know that he had molded me into a perfect little soldier, controlling me in a similar way that I soon controlled others._

_When the Hulk flung me into the floor was when the control was finally loosened._

_Sadly, that control was what had kept me from having a mental breakdown. I panicked as I regained my senses, attempting to cast a teleport spell to remove myself before I was captured in my weakened state. _

_However I was weak, exhausted, still fighting remnants of Thanos's mind control, and I'm fairly sure I had a dangerous concussion. My spell went awry, flinging me beyond, within, and _everywhere_._

_The details of what my spell did are too long for this and I'm certain you would not understand it, brother._

_The simplistics of it are that I went somewhere none had gone before. I woke up in a strange land, with strange creatures, strange magic, and even stranger people. _

_THAT, my brother and mother, is truly where this story begins._

* * *

_I must say... My first experience there was... Interesting, perhaps I could say? I knew automatically that I had sent myself somewhere new, though I hadn't realized quite HOW new._

_Unfortunately when I first appeared I was weak and injured. It was pure chance that I was found by a kind family, who I am still in good relations with to this day. It was also fortunate that they happened to have the best healer I could find later on. They took me in while I was still too weak to understand what was going on around me._

_Needless to say, it was quite strange trying to figure out what was going on once I was fully conscious._

_I also... may not have reacted well when I did learn where I was. Or more importantly, where I wasn't._


	2. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_I eventually learned the specifics of where I was. I was in what seemed to be an entirely different universe, though the argument could be made that it be called another dimension or reality. I use the word dimension, as that is the most technically accurate description I can use that others might understand._

_As for exactly where I was, I was on a planet called Earthland. As you can tell it is very similar to Earth, as the Midgardians call their planet. There are no other versions of the Nine Realms here, of which I am grateful. Earthland is... very diverse._

_There are certain countries that I believe represent the different civilizations back in our dimension. Certain countries have a similar mindset as Asgard regarding magic, science, and culture. Though from my experience it is actually changed so that magic is something children wield, and as adults forego. There are some that are extremely similar to Midgard, focused on technology and science. Unlike Midgard these do KNOW that magic exists, there are just few teachers and in order to learn magic many leave to other countries. Then there are the truly strange places that despise magic and have sadly limited technology._

_And then there is Fiore._

_Fiore is a country like no other, larger than most and with a much higher population. In Fiore, technology exists but science is discarded. Magic is instead used in concert with machines and devices, though it does hamper their advancement somewhat. Magic is not only used that way though. _Everyone_ there is capable of magic, and nearly every single person regardless of gender or class uses it._

_As you can probably tell, I was shocked at learning this fact. It was a long time until I could fully accept it, but I was overjoyed all the same. _

_Magic does work differently, instead of magic being used to do many things it is specialized so that a mage, as magic users are called here, can only do what their magic is specialized in. The upside to this is that there are hundreds of types of magic, and many more still undocumented. All mages can still do the absolute basics when trained, no matter their type of magic. _

_Brother, since you do not know what they are the simplest way to explain it is that they can sense their magic and others', and they can tell a person's condition based on the way their magic is fluctuating. Unfortunately, many mages are untrained in this._

_One strange thing about the magic here, is that there are types of magic used for simple, scholarly approaches. The most common use for magic, however, is fighting. Mages join organizations called guilds, where those in need of assistance with some task or mission post jobs for them to take. Many mages are skilled in fighting, though as anyone involved in magic they are usually more trained in mind than body._

_Though a few make sure to train their bodies regularly, just for that fact._

* * *

_I did have some difficulty with nightmares of my experience under Thanos, and even now still do._

* * *

_Though at first I was unwilling to do so, I ended up traveling with the family for a long while._


	3. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_There was a picture of a man and woman standing together and smiling, posing for the camera. The man was of average height with just a bit of fat about him. He had short, dark brown hair streaked with grey here and there and his eyes were an odd almost yellow brown. The woman was extremely short, but there was something about her stance that inspired instant respect, not demanded it. She was of average build and had blue eyes and dirty blonde hair going down to her waist._

_Lope and Terla Turks_

_They are the two who initially took me in, though their children held no small part in my choice to stay longer than I'd first planned. They are both extremely easy-going, and if it weren't for their innate ability to somehow avoid any and all real danger I'd accuse them of being fools for the situations they put themselves in._

_Terla is a mage, and an extremely powerful one at that. Mere weeks after I was in her care I had even my worst injuries nothing but memories with nary a scar. She has a keen eyes for detail and a calm disposition. I've yet to see her even irritated. As a healer she treats any and all lives as equals and to her any living being is family. This makes mealtimes interesting, as she makes the most hilarious of faces when eating meats._

_She is very similar to you, mother, and I keep finding myself finding similarities between the both of you. Though Terla has a much more silly attitude when she is not required to be serious._

_Lope is far more relaxed than his wife, and he has a very straightforward view of things. He is not one to talk unless he needs to though he is not the silent type. He is the one who organizes everything, despite Terla's more authoritative place in their family he has far more of a grasp over how to keep them moving. There's not very much I can say about him otherwise, he's a very simple man and he knows it._

_The next picture showed the three children sitting together at a bench._

_The oldest, the teenage girl, had her brunette hair up in a ponytail and had her mother's blue eyes. She was a normal height and full-bodied, with skinny arms and legs. The second youngest was a boy who'd inherited his mother's hair with natural bright blonde highlights. Appearance wise he looked a lot like his father, with normal brown eyes and slightly skinnier build. The youngest was a slightly pudgy little girl with beautiful blonde hair in a cute bob. Her eyes were an incredibly deep blue and her eyes drooped slightly behind a pair of glasses despite her awake and cheerful expression._

_Aleena, Jaxel, and Lara Turks_

_Aleena is the oldest of the children at sixteen, and is very energetic. As you can tell from the other pictures, whenever she becomes excited she tends to drop whatever she's doing. Sometimes quite literally. She is a mage with an unidentified magic, and I believe it is a form that has not yet been recorded. She is capable of sensing the souls of others, whether alive or deceased. You would be rather surprised how many times she is found having a one-sided conversation with some lost spirit. She also has a very fine sense of others' magic as well, being able to tell what kind of spell is being used even under the most powerful of disguises. She can see through most illusions, making it difficult for me to truly surprise her. She can create energy blasts using her energy and with her soul sensing ability can 'borrow' energy from others, always with permission of course. I took it upon myself to give her the major push into fighting properly and now she is rather skilled for her age._

_Jaxel is eleven and the middle child, having a very childish personality at times. He is very enthusiastic about magic and is always eager to learn the theoretic side to any spell. Sadly, he has not discovered his form of magic as of yet. Despite this he is always happy to help his older sister with her training and though he's not confident enough to show me Aleena tells me that he's coming along nicely. He can be shy when it comes to sharing his abilities, though he's always excited to share whichever new subject he's been studying._

_Lara is only five and is the youngest. I have suspected that Lope and Terla are wishing for another child though, so that may not be the case soon. Lara is, like any child her age, completely carefree. She is the perfect little angel and the only time she ever becomes stubborn is over what she will eat, it is the only reason Terla hasn't turned them all into vegetarians. She was born with a debilitating birth defect, but Terla's skill is so great that once Lara's body could handle it she healed the deformity. I am not sure on what it was, but I do know that had Terla not healed her Lara would have been completely blind and paralyzed in her face. Sadly there is only so far healing magic can go. It was a miracle how far Terla managed to heal her, and there is only one lasting effect. Lara's eyelids are paralyzed, and when she needs to open or close them she has to use her fingers. To solve the issues of blinking Lara keeps her eyes halfway open, and instead of blinking she simply looks up into her head long enough to moisten her eyes. She keeps her head at an odd tilt most of the time to see, and she must wear glasses due to a slight vision impairment left over from her earlier blindness._


	4. Chapters 5-9 (No Chapter 6)

**There is no book portion for Chapter Six due to the fact that my brain for some reason decided to make that chapter a song chapter filled with Loki angst and typical Fairy Tail fluff.**

* * *

**Chapters 5-9 (No 6)**

_I traveled with the Turks for around six months, going from city to city and helping them as much as I could. My magic is strangely hampered here, reducing the ways that I could help them, but I did as much as I could._

_In those months I recovered somewhat from everything I'd gone through. I was only comfortable around the Turks themselves, but the fact that I was comfortable around ANYONE was a great achievement._

_I eventually told them about where I was truly from, and much of what I'd done._

_They never even blinked, accepting it without a problem. They are quite foolish mortals, if you think of the situation from one perspective. But their foolishness is what helped me regain much of my sanity._

* * *

_After a while I began to get restless, though the Turks travel constantly it became rather dull. Luckily for me I obtained an apprentice, so to say, who helped stave off boredom for a time._

_Sadly, that only lasted for a month or two. I was never one for a quiet life._

_Eventually the Turks caught on to my restlessness and encouraged me to find my own way._

* * *

_On the day I left, I was no longer Loki Odinson. Mother, I have always loved you, even in my darkest moments. Brother, even though I often doubted your love and on several occasions hated you, I now love you just as much. But Odin shall never again be my father, the wounds are too fresh in my mind and no matter how I look at it I can not feel it in my heart to care for him._

_I am not an Odinson, I never truly was and I never shall be._

_**I am Loki Turks-Friggason.**_

* * *

_I traveled for a short time and chose a famous magic guild called Fairy Tail to join. Before you bother saying anything, the name is based off of their motto. 'Do fairies have tails? An unanswerable question, and therefore a lifetime of adventure.' Or at the very least something very similar to that. _

_Brother, you would fit in very well in this guild._

_My initial opinion of the guild was not quite as… flattering, as it could have been. But the fact that I only disliked it for the noise and commotion most likely should have warned me about how things would proceed to go._

* * *

_It was several weeks before I actually began interacting with the other mages in the guild. Looking back I wish I'd done so sooner._

_The first actual friend I made was Leo, a celestial spirit who was contracted to a Celestial Mage in the guild._

_He is disconcertingly like Fandral in the fact that he seems to be incapable of other thoughts if women are around, though I personally believe he has far better chances._

_While at first his personality threw me off, once we began to talk he turned out to be a good conversationalist. He is also considered something of a prince among his kind, something that I find rather ironic._

_The next person was Levy McGarden, we bonded over books. There is very little other way to put it._

_Mirajane Strauss was next, though she is so friendly it's nearly impossible to NOT grow close to her. Her brother is rather overprotective though._

_I next became close to Gray Fullbuster. He is an Ice Mage and therefore grew curious over my ability to control my ice powers. Upon learning I did not know how to use them very well, he decided to help me practice until I grew to control them._


	5. Chapters 11-14 (No Chapter 10)

**There is no book portion for Chapter 10 because it was filled with past events of Loki bonding with Fairy Tail and he didn't tell Thor and Frigga anything about those encounters.**

* * *

**Loki's Book Chapter Five**

**Chapter 11-14 (No 10)**

_I never quite realized for a long time that I had many people conspiring to help me in any way they could. I knew the Turks cared for me and helped me but I didn't truly know that depth, until they reached out to my guildmates and started plotting. I didn't know the depth my guildmates, most complete strangers or random acquaintances, cared until they started to scheme._

_What I did know was that there were a lot more people who didn't know my past. A lot more people who didn't know anything. I suppose I'd become ignorant of people's capabilities for a short time._

* * *

_My guild… eventually pushed me and I ended up saying something I didn't quite mean to. I ended up explaining my story yet again. They reacted slightly more __**energetically**__ than the Turks, but no more empathetically._

_At this point I've started to wonder if humans are just __**that**__ different from Asgardians and their minds work differently. It would certainly explain why they seem to keep acting outside of my expectations._

_I might take the time to bring up something that occurred after that debacle. There was a… fortunate incident of sorts. _

_I pulled a Thor._

_Heavens, I never thought I'd say that. It certainly says something about how effective my guildmates were._

_I… may have ended up going home with someone. Though I don't recall as I was quite inebriated. One of my guildmates with an astonishing tolerance to alcohol for a human challenged me._

_Thinking back it wasn't wise to do so since it had several years since I'd done any heavy drinking…_

_After that we agreed to 'date' as humans call it. Honestly if I were to get into it I could gush about him for a while… again, I am unsure what living with humans has done to me that I can legitimately 'gush' about someone._

_Though teasing Gajeel quickly became my favorite pastime._

_Gajeel and I had already been close friends before, so it was surprisingly effortless for the both of us to slip into a relationship. I don't think either of us quite expected to grow so close in such a short time._

* * *

_There is not much more for me to say at this point. Gajeel was the final thread._

_I could go on for __**several**__ books about how much has happened to me here. About how much I have pained and how much I have been healed. But that can be done in person._

_My first purpose of sending this was to ensure that you two knew what had truly happened to me, to know that I was not of my own mind while committing my crimes against Midgard. As I started I realized I wanted so much more than to simply tell you through written words. _

_In the back of this tome is a detailed explanation of the spell I cast to send the book. With it and what I can remember from my first… trip, is the necessary information needed to travel to this dimension. I believe it would be wise to first send a letter through these means to decide when you both wish to come, or if._

_I ask again that you not involve Odin. If that is your wish, so be it, I will accept that. But I'm afraid he may act in such a way that my guildmates would react negatively to._

_And, yes, quite frankly between The Allfather and the whole of Fairy Tail I believe the mortals would win._

…_I do hope you two can ever forgive me for the wrongs I've committed, even in my insanity and under Thanos's control. I cannot bring myself to hope for forgiveness from any Midguardian and neither would I accept it if they offered it. I have done too much harm._

_I know the both of you are likely to start protesting at this, claiming I have no need of feeling guilt because my actions were never quite my own. My guild and the Turks have often assured me the same thing._

_I know, logically, that I should feel no guilt. But I shall always feel horribly guilty for what I've done. There is nothing that can convince me otherwise, despite how much I've constantly been reassured of such._

_I feel like you will both love Fiore. It is an amazing land and there are so many new experiences even for those who have lived here all their lives. I've come to see it as my home and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do._

_Until then, know that I love the both of you very much and I wish dearly to see you again._

_Sincerely, _

_Loki Turks-Friggason_


	6. Frigga's letter to Loki Ch 14

**This is the last of this, since there won't be anymore of the book. This just wraps it all up so I decided to include it. There will be future letters back and forth included in A Splash of Green which will be posted when Home Is Where the Heart Heals comes to an end in a few more chapters.**

* * *

**Loki's Book Chapter Six**

**Frigga's response to Loki (Ch. 14)**

_My Son,_

_It gives me great joy to know that you live and are well. Your brother and mine spirits have been lifted greatly knowing that you are of your own mind and flourishing in this new land._

_There is much to talk about, but I feel as if such things __**would**__ be far better to discuss in person. In three days' time, for it will take such time to create a plausible lie and convince Odin of it, Thor and I will come. We would like to stay for a week as that is the longest our absence will likely remain unsuspicious. _

_We both eagerly await the chance to see you again, Loki. Know that we are deeply sorry for the things you have been forced to endure._

_I love you, my son, and your brother does as well. Know that we will always be there for you._

_Love,_

_Frigga and Thor_


End file.
